Nightmares
by Faelan the Dark Angel
Summary: After Edward leaves Bella, and Jacobs a werewolf Bella's nightmares get worse and she finds happinesss in the least expects place... I cant write summery s please read and review! T for suicidal themes...
1. Scars

_This is a disclaimer to all future chapters in this story: I do not own Twilight, only in my dreams is Edward and Jacob fighting over me..._

_One day...  
_

_**Chapter one**_

I got into my Chevy trying and failing to unsuccessfully hold back tears that where escaping. Once the comforting, mind numbing roar of the engine started I let the tears fall, blurring my sight.

I had another nightmare, I woke up screaming louder then normal, even Charlie checked to see if I was being murdered. Once he saw no one killing me he got ready and left. I never stay long after Charlie leaves it reminds me to much of when Edward used to pick me up and that thought sent me over the edge and I a new wave of tears takes over.

I was really deep in thought I didn't notice the trees surrounding me, I recognized this was the route to Jacobs house, he never visited me anymore or even call me. It was depressing me more. Charlie was right I was suicidal.

I soon arrived to Jacobs house to find Jacob staring out the window looking confused.

By the time I cut the engine and opened the door Jacob was standing next to the car frowning.

"Why did you come?" He asked looking a bit harsh.

"Well, Jake I missed so much!" I cried hugging Jacob around his waist.

"I miss…I mean…" Jacob looked pained when I let go to look up at his face, he looked really unhappy.

"What? Did you want me to leave?" I felt tears in the corner of my eyes, I didn't want to leave but if I wasn't wanted I would leave, to make Jake happy.

"No! Please stay, come with me to my garage," Jacob sighed.

I knew he wanted to say something but I wouldn't push it, I just shrugged and followed him the the garge, tring to forget the good old days when we used to spend the day here having fun and being so happy, those days had passed… It was sad to say goodbye to the times when I used to be happier after Edward left.

As we walked I took note of Jakes clothing choice, a pair of faded jeans and sweatbands that covered his forearms.

Jacob opened the door of his car like old times and he grabbed a chair to sit opposite from me. I bite back tears as it also reminded me of a happier time that seemed like a lifetime ago.

"I'm sorry, I would have called but I didn't know what to say and I thought you were kinda annoyed at me about me being rude…" Jacob trailed off.

"I would never be annoyed at you! I missed your smile that used to brighten this pathetic darkness that is my so called life!" I sighed.

"Bella! I missed you so much, I am sorry! I didn't know what to do or say they don't exactly tell you what to do in this situation!" Jacob said with a bitter laugh at the end.

I was starting to feel a bit to warm so I rolled my sleeves up.

"Bells! Oh! My God! What happened?" Jacob exclaimed as soon as he saw my blood soaked bandage.

"Never mind!" I pulled down my sleeves.

Jacob grabbed on of my arms and pushed up the sleeve.

"What happened Bells?" He asked clutching my hand, his eyes held a look of frighten and concerned.

"Well, I kinda tripped and fell on a knife?" I lied, but being me an awful liar Jacob saw through my lie.

The look on his face said it all.

"Do don't believe me do you?" I asked guessing the answer.

"No!"

"What do you want to know?" I asked, annoyed about him wanting to know my business.

"Bella, the truth would be nice," Jacob said half smiling, his eyes pleading.

"Jake I don't want to lose you, if you only knew… I don't want to think of your reaction!" I sobbed into Jacob chest as he wrapped his arms around me, I felt comfortable here, I just wish I could stay forever and be happy, but that is wishful thinking.

"Bells, you own my heart, and I don't want it back I love you and I know your heart is else where, I would never ever leave you like _Cullen_" He said as he ran his fingers through my hair, I liked the feel. He growled as he mentioned Edward, he hurt both of us, me because he left me, he hurt Jacob as Edward has my heart; Jacob wished he owned my heart.

"Promise you wont ever hate me?" I asked looking up at him as my hair fell in my eyes.

"I could never hate you Bells, I love you, even if you hated me!" Jacob promised tightening his arms around me.

"Well… Um…" I swallowed loudly and I looked down as my voice shook. "I have been depressed about Edward and your silence, so… I…I…I c-cut myself, to ease the pain and it works sometimes, I inflict pain on the outside to ease the pain on the inside…" I broke off into sobs, as I knew I was about to lose a friend because I felt hot.

"Oh! Bells," Jacob breathed.

"Great, I lost a friend, Jake will now think I am a suicidal freak! And is disgusted by my pain and depression, why couldn't you believe the lie, it makes it less painful on both off us!" I yelled as I tried to get out of Jacobs arms, but I was trapped like they were a cage.

"You have lost nothing, I am your friend, I am so sorry its all my fault," Jacob whispered.

"Not, fully yours… Now are… You gonna go… Tell everyone… Bella Swan is… A freak who… Cuts herself?" I asked as I gasped and struggled to escape Jacobs iron grip.

As I was struggling I accidentally pushed a wristband down and I gasped.

"How…Why… Huh?" Was all I could stutter as I stared as long healed scars across Jacobs arm.

Jacob pushed me away and muttered something as he adjusted his sweatbands and ran off into the forest.

I got up from the ground where I landed and ran into the forest calling for Jacob as tears ran down my cheeks once again blurring my vision. I wish I didn't come here, Jacob wouldn't know about this, but I wont leave Jacob mad at me I will apologize and never come back.

Soon enough I was lost in the forest, with no sign of Jacob, I felt I sense of De Javu. It was like when Edward left me… That thought sent my to my knees holding myself together, I was broken…I gasped for air as I felt a hole appear.

"I was right, I lost my Jake and its raining!" I screamed in frustration. "I hate this!!!"

I curled up like after Edward left, hoping for deaths claws to take me away…


	2. Cuts

Chapter two

It felt like hours later when I heard Jacob calling me, truth be told it was only half an hour. I hoped he was invisible, knowing I would never be that lucky.

"Bella? Bella?" He was getting closer. "Bella… Oh! Bella!" As you have probably guessed he has found me.

Jacob scooped me up in his arms,

"Leave me alone to die, maybe this will work as the blades don't seem to! I deserve to die. Please leave me to die." I begged trying to get out of his arms.

"I will put you down if you promise not to escape or die!"

"Put me down or I will bite you!" I threatened, it was weird, Jacob wasn't mad, and he was concerned.

"No dice." Jacob laughed and walked I little faster.

"Fine, I wont escape but escape sounds like I am a prisoner!" I frowned.

Jacob set me down and he held my hand and led me back to the house.

"Look I am so sorry Bells, what can I do? I feel so bad and I want to make it up to you…" Jacob mumbled.

"Stay with me, that's all I ask, I want my Jake." I cut Jacob off with my simple request.

"I am all yours, I will never leave you, and I will never leave Forks. Today, tomorrow and forever." He promised stopping to look me in the eyes.

That's when I realized I loved him…

"Your all wet, lets get you inside, luckily dad is at Harry's, so the house is empty." Jacob smiled and threw me over his shoulder like a rag doll and jogged back to the house.

Once we got back to the house Jacob carefully put me back on the couch.

"Jake thanks so much, for everything." I tried to smile before hugging Jacob who had sat next to me. "I missed you so much it hurt," I sobbed into my werewolf's chest. "I don't think my heart could take it if you left." I admitted.

"I'm here, I'm here, I will be here as long as you want," Jacob said pulling my into his lap and he rocked me.

"Don't hold your breath," I joked. "Anyway tell me about these," I said as I pulled off a sweatband and traced his scars lightly.

"Oh! Those were made in wolf form, I wasn't fighting with the others, and it was self-inflicted. Just sometimes I lose my will to live, I have tried to claw out my own heart." I noticed some faded scratches on Jacobs's chest and I traced them instead of the ones on his wrist. "Humans can die easily, I envy you but we werewolves have long lives. I might never find true love, suicide wont work." Jacob sighed and held me against his chest.


	3. Dreams not nightmares

Chapter three

It felt like I was whole again, it was a unfamiliar feeling, I hadn't felt like this in awhile. As Jacob held me against his chest I listened to the steady beat of his heart.

After while Jacob broke the silence: "Hear my heart? It beats for you, only you." I smiled and looked up.

"Jake you are so sweet, I love you" I said not realizing what I said.

"I love you too, Bells!" Jacob hugged me.

We sat like that for a while, I didn't need Edward, he was a passing obsession, being with Jacob was easy, I love Jacob. I wouldn't need to change or lose Charlie and Renee.

"Uh, Jake?" I whispered.

"Yes, my Bella?" He whispered back.

"Well, Edward used to have to be careful when handling me especially when kissing me, so could you please kiss me- oh, I am asking Jake you kiss me, what is up with that? - Only if you want to that is, I would like you too but its up to…" I didn't get to finish my ramblings, I didn't care either. Jacob's lips were on mine they were soft yet demanding. His tongue pushed against my lips and I granted it to him. As he deepened the kiss I ran my hands through his hair and tilted my head back to make it easier for him.

We had to pull away for air.

"Wow! Thanks! Um… Great kissing" I stuttered.

"No prob, it should really be me thanking you! I have waited to do that to you for ages." Jacob smiled. "My imagination has not done you justice Bell."

We were silent for a minute I glanced at my watch.

"Oh! I will be late for school!" I said.

"Don't go, stay with me!" Jacob held me closer and looked down at me with puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, one day wont hurt!" I sighed.

Jacob stared at me like he was studying something.

"What?" I asked feeling self-conscious.

"You look better!" Jacob smiled before planting a soft kiss on my lips.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Charlie would be pleased, he was never really happy with me dating a Cullen"

"Billy would be pleased to see me happy again, he noticed I was happier when we were together." Jacob mused.

Jacob laid down with me on top of him. I rested my head on his chest.

That time there were no nightmares…


	4. Epilog, the end!

Chapter 4

Jacob and I ended up together with a son I called Wolfgang and a daughter he named Trinity.

Edward came back, he was with a girl who seems nice, it kind of hurt to see he got over me so quick, I self harmed because of him, but he was really controlling. Edward and I are still friends, Jacob doesn't mind, it appears that he sends Edward mental pictures of us together.

We were right, Billy and Charlie are pleased that we are together.

As for the other pack members: Emily and Sam got married in a beautiful wedding they now have a son called Alex, Alex and Wolfgang and best friends. Quil and Clair are so close Clair is now 11 and they are always together. Leah married someone from the reserve and Leah is expecting a little girl soon. Seth has imprinted on a shy girl called Raven, they are never leave each other for things other then the obvious, Seth is so happy.

Oh! And the best thing is the true between the Cullen's and werewolves! I am so happy they won't fight at events.

Well I must leave, Its Wolfgang's 3rd birthday and Rosalie is trying to show Trinity who is 4 how to throw cake at Jacob, I must stop this before another cake fight starts.


End file.
